Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
