you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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