my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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