I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
