My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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