$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
