She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
