It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
