It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I skipped work to stalk him.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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