a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
