Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
