Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
