we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
