my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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