note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
