Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
