I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
