i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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