Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
