I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
