you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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