Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
