oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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