Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
