doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
