so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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