grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
