Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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