I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
