dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
