i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
