do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He better not be in your backpack
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
