This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
