I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
