No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
