Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
