Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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