Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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