He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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