Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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