Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
