windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
