shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
