There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
