just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
