i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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