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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
