We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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