my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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