I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
