brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
