physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
