his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
